Monday morning at 9 am I start a new chapter of my life: work. It’s not the actual beginning of my work career, but I will be exclusively working full time for 6 months, living that adult 9-5 life (it’s actually 7-3 but same difference). When I was hired at my co-op job in February it was exciting and I felt such relief, yet the responsibility and pressure hadn’t set in… until this week. If you’ve read some of my latest posts, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I’m a very analytical thinker and pay attention to really small details because I think things happen in a domino effect; noticing how the first piece fell is how to conclude where the last one will land.
So, as I’m about to be assisting with patient care at a psychiatric hospital, I’m thinking about how to be effective so that I can make the biggest impact possible. In order to be good at my job, I have to focus on each individual patient interaction. How can I be influential to a patient who does not want help? What are things I can say to ensure that a patient knows I am doing my best to help them, even when it might not seem like it? How can I empathize with a person who doesn’t want to be having a conversation with me? Basically, how can I converse and impact resistant patients?
It’s gonna be tough… and all I’m doing is sitting here speculating because I haven’t started yet. But, I’ve thought about many potential situations I could find myself in. I think back to my days in eating disorder treatment and how certain nurses and mental health workers were memorable for their insight, and how others rubbed me the wrong way and I wanted nothing to do with them. These patients are fragile, as I once was, so I need to show up every day with a smile and a change-maker attitude because that’s what these people deserve.
To go off on a tangent for a little bit, adulting is hard. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. Freedom to make decisions, responsibility for my actions, scheduling my time as I see fit, setting goals, and doing my best to reach them… I’ve been waiting for this independence for years. But the initial thrill of doing things for yourself wears off after a little bit and then you realize, “oh wait, this is only the beginning”. This running to the grocery store, meal prepping, cleaning the apartment, doing the laundry, scheduling appointments, and going to work thing… yeah that’s kinda for life. So, I’m doing everything I can to set good habits now so that these somewhat daunting tasks can feel like no big deal.
Mind you, I’m saying all of this before I start work… once reality sets in and I’m running on coffee who the heck knows what’s gonna happen. But this sounds good for now, so we’re gonna stick to the plan.
But to continue on the theme of adulting, these short summer months have taught me a lot. A lot about growth, hard work, perseverance, relationships, and doing things for you, and only you. I lived the last decade doing things for other people, even if that meant ignoring my needs. And only recently have I really noticed the harm it’s doing in my life. This isn’t to say that I’ll stop being selfless, but my needs will come first. If my needs aren’t met, how am I supposed to help others?
And that right there ^^ is my motto for these next 6 months. My needs come first. It’s gonna take a lot of practice because it is simply not in my nature, but I’m gonna do my best. I won’t be able to show up to work and kick ass if I’m not taking care of myself. If that means meal prepping, working out, drinking coffee AND water, and forcing myself to get in bed earlier, so be it. This next chapter is about balance, so hopefully, I don’t tip the scales.
Sometimes this isn’t glamorous either, sometimes self-care and growth look like having hard conversations, walking away from something that doesn’t serve you anymore, or advocating for yourself in an assertive way. Recently, (as in the last 6 months) I’ve done a lot of advocating for myself in regards to my health. Long story short, I’ve had chronic pain for 10 years, with no diagnosis and no successful treatment. When I was younger, doctors would chalk it up to “growing pains” since no test or scan was conclusive of anything. In my later teenage years, I pushed more at visits to try new medication, new treatment options, anything… but everything they suggested did not work. I was really ready to give up. But then again, nobody deserves to be in pain, so I got myself together and in April I decided that trigger point injections were the next best trial. I looked and called around the hospitals in Boston and found a pain center, made an appointment, went for a consultation, and by May I had gotten the best treatment I ever had. They worked. So now, every 8 weeks, that’s my plan, and now I am finally (somewhat) pain-free!
I think in a lot of instances this process did not need to take as long, but I believe that has to do with the many, many dismissive doctors I’d seen over the years who didn’t know what to do for me. Pushing and advocating and not taking no as an answer really, really works. I highly recommend (obviously doing so in a respectful, yet assertive way).
Bringing it back to focus now, sorry guys, I get excited about all the things I have to say!
Work.
Next week is orientation. My days are long and filled with so many new skills I will need to eventually become really good at taking vital signs, restraining a patient, verbal de-escalation to prevent conflict or harm, facilitating group therapy, doing rounds and charting properly, admission intake reports, and discharge papers, CPR training… the list really does seem to go on forever. I’m gonna get through it though, and I’m gonna kick ass. I’m jumping into this opportunity head first with zero experience, knowing that I will come out of it much stronger, smarter, and capable of doing anything I set my mind to.
