A year ago I was laying in my bed in Boston when I got a call from my dad that changed everything. As soon as I picked up the phone I knew… the somber tone in his voice, the despair and exhaustion… Bubby passed away. My roommate climbed i

A year ago I was laying in my bed in Boston when I got a call from my dad that changed everything. As soon as I picked up the phone I knew… the somber tone in his voice, the despair and exhaustion… Bubby passed away. My roommate climbed into my bed and held me as I soaked my sheets with tears. It felt like the world froze. I felt numb. Empty. Everything meant nothing. All I wanted was one more day with her…

Those next few months were hell. No part of me was happy or okay but I tried my best to pretend I was. March rolled around and well, I’m assuming you can guess the rest. COVID-19. I packed up my stuff and abruptly abandoned my college home to live back in Philly for the next gazillion months, or at least that’s how it felt. I’m not gonna bore you with the uneventful nature of my quarantine, but one incredible thing happened this summer that really helped me emotionally. My parents and aunt and uncle bought a beach house for us to share. It was spontaneous. It was exhilarating. It was perfect. Not only was my summer filled with fun and love as two families melded into one, but I also felt the closest I had felt to Bubby in such a long time. Every morning I’d open my bedroom window to walk out onto my deck and stare into the ocean. I’d walk downstairs, usually with a book, grab my coffee, and then sit on the front deck in the sunshine. It was my spot, not only because of the fabulous ocean views and utter feeling of relaxation, but because I knew Bubby was there with me. Sitting there brings me back to my childhood when I’d wake up at her beach house only to find her on her porch with her coffee and her book. If only we could enjoy this house together. She would have loved it. 

Sandy Beaches… that’s what we named our house. It has double meaning, however, the one that really matters in that my Bubby’s name was Sandy. The purpose of this house is not only to memorialize her and honor her, but to enjoy being with family just as she would have wanted. She was a beach bum since forever, and the combination would likely exceed her wildest dreams. 

Although 2020 started off with grief, sadness, and emptiness, it did not end that way. Despite living through a global pandemic I feel as though I have seized every opportunity sent my way, even sometimes searching for more. Initially, my mindset was pretty stagnant and unmotivated. I felt as though quarantine and the lack of social interaction and everything else that makes life feel “normal” stole my sense of purpose. But then I decided that wasn’t okay and I came full circle. Here’s a list of my 2020 accomplishments:

  • 4 summer classes

  • Deciding to declare as a Psychology and Behavioral Neuroscience major/minor

  • Training to join a YNG+ forum

  • Working as a photographer at Northeastern’s Hillel

  • Joining a sorority and becoming the Pledge Class President

  • Joining an Eating Disorders and Appearance Based Research team

  • Volunteering as a Social Media Scheduler for an Eating Disorders non-profit

  • Becoming an intern at an incredible organization called EmpowerHER (more on that later)

Was I busy? Ummm, yeah. But that’s exactly how I like it. Did I regain my sense of purpose? HELL YES. I feel so involved socially, philanthropically, and academically… at this point the sky is the limit. 

EmpowerHER is an organization that thrives to connect and support girls who have lost their mothers in non-therapeutic settings. This helps them learn to talk about their grief, share their experiences with others, and also understand that they are not alone. This is the local philanthropy for AEPHi (my sorority), but once I learned about their mission I knew I needed to become more involved. I reached out, interviewed, and got the position. And in the interview, I was asked what makes you want to be more involved in our organization… immediately I thought of Bubby. I’m doing this for her. Why? Because Bubby lost her mother at 19 and she did not have the support she needed. She suppressed many emotions and never was truly able to speak of her mother. I felt if I could help these girls in any way, I would be honoring my Bubby, giving them opportunities that she did not have. I hope she’s smiling from above.

If Bubby taught me anything it’s to work as hard as you can and be a kind human being. 2020 started off rocky, but once I manifested the Sandy Hersh energy from within, I made 2020 my year. 

Thank you Bubby, for motivating me, inspiring me, and filling my heart with so many happy memories. May your memory be a blessing on this anniversary and everyday. We all love you and miss you so much. 

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