I considered writing about gratitude or family or some other Thanksgiving cliché, and although I am bursting with those warm and fuzzy feelings, I also know this year is hard for me and many others. Holiday time in general is hard, and I think this topic often gets overshadowed by the toxic positivity that comes with this time of year. From Thanksgiving until after Christmas, we get the constant messages that, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”, but for so many, that is certainly not the case. The holiday spirit can be fun and entertaining and depending on who you are it may simply be that wonderful, but I think it’s important to acknowledge those who don’t share the same feelings.
Without a doubt I think the influx of toxic positivity around holiday time makes so many people feel isolated, invalidated, and alone. Let’s work to support those who need it and recognize that it’s actually very normal to struggle during this time of year.
I hope those of you reading this cannot relate, although I do have a feeling a lot of you can. Let’s consider the laundry list of issues people face in general that tend to be amplified during this time:
Family issues: This is situational, but seeing that problematic relative, or fighting with any member of your family has a way of inducing stress and putting a strain on holiday cheer.
Anxiety: It comes in many forms and is triggered by numerous things. It can be a deal-breaker for a relaxing holiday gathering, or relaxing at all.
Depression: This can make it challenging for people to get out of bed in the morning, let alone paint a smile across their face to look pleasant at the dinner table. There is a lot of pressure to be happy, but it’s not always that simple.
Eating Disorders: Holiday time is centered around food. Regardless of the diagnosis, or lack thereof, people struggle with the attention placed on food and the comparisons that come with it.
Financial Stress: gift-giving, food shopping, holiday-decorating, or simply providing for your family. Everyone is in a different position and those who cannot afford certain things may have significant emotional responses.
Loneliness: Not everyone has family and friends to surround themselves with during the holiday season. They may be feeling alone.
Addiction: Watching your friends and family drink can be very triggering for someone struggling with addiction. Be cognizant of that.
Loss: That empty seat at the table may cause lots of pain. Lots of people are missing someone and the togetherness and family aspect of the holidays can serve as a reminder of those we have lost.
There are many other issues I did not name (that is not to say that they are less significant than those I have listed).
This list was written as if life were normal, but I don’t think you need me to tell you that, well, life is not normal right now. COVID-19 has changed most people’s holiday plans. For some people that may be a good thing, and for others that may be sad. COVID-19 has not been very good to us and has hurt countless people in a variety of ways, but I feel that if COVID-19 has done anything for us, it’s allowed society to accept and normalize mental health issues. In no way am I stating that we have totally destigmatized them, but I think some real progress is being made right here, right now. The fact that mental health discussions are being had in the media is a big deal. Let’s keep it this way. Let’s shed light on important issues that affect so many.
Personally, COVID-19 is my struggle right now (as it is for many). Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and the fact that over 35 family members will not be in my house enjoying my mom’s incredible food tomorrow is hard. It’s hard because I’m craving that feeling of togetherness. However, if things were normal, they still would not be normal because one very special person would be missing from our dinner table. This will be our first Thanksgiving without Bubby and that’s hard for me. With that being said, I am incredibly grateful that things happened the way that they did… if we did not get to say our goodbyes properly I would have been devastated. So, I’m thankful that Bubby never knew a COVID world and got to leave this earth surrounded by those who loved her.
Whether you are embracing those feelings of gratitude or struggling with any hardship, I hope tomorrow is a good day. I encourage each of you to reflect on the people, experiences, and opportunities in your life and process them, however that may look for you. I know I’ll be writing, but I’m sure none of you are surprised by that:)
Happy Thanksgiving!
