It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow so, as always, emotions are running high and I have a lot to say…
To start, this year I have new perspectives. Well, some are old, and some are new. As you may have read in previous posts, I spent some time working at a psychiatric hospital for my co-op job.
Over the three and a half month span that I was employed at the hospital, I learned more than I could have imagined and met the most interesting people I have ever met. There wasn’t a day that would go by without me learning about someone’s trauma, toxic relationships, insecurities, delusions, etc. I loved learning about the intricacies of what went on in the minds of my patients and watching so many of them make the progress they did. But sometimes, even with patience, and empathy, it can be a lot to handle.
When a patient refuses court-mandated medication and fights with the nurse.
When a patient has PTSD and screams in their sleep in fear.
When a patient you’re admitting brings a backpack full of drugs you have to search.
When a patient comes to your group but then picks a fight with someone and disrupts the therapeutic process.
When a patient wants you to sit with them because “if I’m alone, I might hurt myself”.
When a patient makes sexual jokes because he thinks its funny
When a patient confides in you and opens up about rape, abuse, divorce, drug use.
When a patient wants to show you her bruises.
When a patient tells you you’re not enough and you suck at your job.
When a patient cries to you begging for you to “just do more” but you cannot go beyond the limits of your job.
When a patient is angry and pulls down every exit sign, sets the fire alarm off, and uses racial slurs.
When a patient yells at you for a decision her lawyers made.
When a patient’s delusions convince him you’re an alien.
When a patient comes into your group, rips the wooden door off the metal hinges and lunges to throw it at you...
The exposure I got during my time at this hospital was incredible in the sense that I learned so much about how to interact with people from different populations than I am used to interacting with. I was regularly conversing with people with bipolar disorder during a manic episode, people with schizophrenia who were dissociating, people with delusions, people who were so stuck in a depressive episode that they did not speak, people who were so abused and hurt that a simple change in tone brought fear into their eyes, and people who were homeless so that extra bag of chips could really make or break their day.
Perspective. That was the biggest takeaway from this job. My patients tested my limits while also teaching me some of the most valuable life lessons I may ever learn.
Social support is so important. Be grateful for the people in your life, whether it be a family member or a friend. Be thankful for the cheerleaders in your life whether they are the ones running onto the field or cheering from the top of the bleachers. Some people do not have cheerleaders and are genuinely alone.
We oftentimes take our homes for granted. There are so many people out there who do not have a home, or maybe they just don’t have a safe home. They do not have a cozy bed to return to every night. When you lay your head on your pillow tonight, breathe in feelings of gratitude.
The food on your plate, may not come as a surprise to you because you can just eat when you are hungry. Again, not everyone has the luxury of nourishing their bodies. And eating isn’t even a luxury, it is a necessity. We had a hospital rule that patients could not bring food up to the unit from the cafeteria, but I cannot tell you how many patients would negotiate with me about bringing just one extra bag of chips upstairs. It got to the point where I would allow it, not because of the constant asking or “what the fuck this rule is stupid, you’re such a bitch”. I let my patients bring that snack back because I wanted to give them that sense of control that they craved and let them know that I want to empower and support them. So, as you’re shoveling delicious Thanksgiving meals into your mouths tomorrow night, just take some time to be mindful of the people who are wishing they could do the same.
Health… I think this one tends to be something at the forefront of our minds. We often cheers “to health and happiness”. It’s sad to see someone decline in either their mental or physical state. So, let’s say an extra prayer for those who need it, and thank our lucky stars if we are doing okay.
The lessons go on and on but for our purposes here today we’ll stick to these… the basics, that we tend to take for granted, but should spend this holiday season thinking more about.
Before I leave you with holiday wishes and cheer, I would like to quickly acknowledge the seat at my Thanksgiving table this year that will be empty, but full in spirit. This is my first (in-person) Thanksgiving without my Bubby. I will be feeling more emotional on this day than most since togetherness and family is what this holiday means to me. I am sending love and strength to anyone grieving, missing someone, struggling with physical or mental health. You are not alone.
To leave you with one final thought, hug those around you, send texts to those you love expressing praise and gratitude, and sit down and be thankful to be alive. We are so fortunate.
Happy Thanksgiving!
